It was Kaiser Wilhelm II who gave us the immortal saying, “Give me a woman who truly loves beer, and I will conquer the world.” He also brought us a little thing that people at the time used to call, “The war to end all wars”. I’d like to think that title was an attempt at sarcasm, because in hindsight it certainly seems foolish that anyone would believe that. Well perhaps, Neville Chamberlain believed it.
As an aside I would like to see sideburns like that come back into style…
I'll leave you with this quote that has been attributed to an unknown German Monk. I wonder if it was scratched into the back of one of the pews at the monastery.
He who drinks beer sleeps well.
He who sleeps well cannot sin.
He who does not sin goes to heaven.
Amen.
7 comments:
"Vitriolic wrath"????!!!! There was nothing vitriolic or wrathful (wrathy?) about my observations regarding "Fancy Wilhelm". In fact, you drug me into the conversation about fancy Wilhelm.
I was merely trying to find ut what the heck is going on between you and Frau Huber. Your refusal to give details makes me wonder if you aren't having a steaming affair with the Frau.
And, for Pete's sake, did you ever ask her if she is kin to the Huber Winery people in beautiful Starlight, Indiana?
Wilhelm
Boy, talk about obfuscation... go ahead and try to shift the conversation away you’re your Fancy-pants forefathers and put the spotlight on poor Frau Huber. I’ll have you know, and I want to make this perfectly clear, (I’m pointing now for emphasis) I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Frau Huber. (Now I am banging my fist on the desk), And no she is not kin to Joe Huber of beautiful Starlight, Indiana. I did ask her and she looked at me like… well, probably a lot like I looked when I first read your question.
Frau Huber is a nice woman, but she’s 60 years old for god’s sake. That’s just a hair older than my oldest sister. And the thought of someone that old ... well, that just gives me the heebie jeebies.
You'll be very lucky to be in Germany when your oldest sister reads that. In fact, does she have your address?
Judy
Haven't you ever heard the old expression, "It's a small world"?
In light of the truth contained in that sentiment, I don't think it's all that strange to ask if the Frau is kin to Joe. For all I know, they could be kissin' cousins.
And just for the record, I'm told that my forefathers came from Wales. Not a fancy boy in the lot either. Just so's you know.
Wilhelm
Hey Tony,
I realize that the Haven is a (mostly) "G-rated" blog, but you would be so disappointed in me if I did not relate the tale of a recent experience here at work.
Our office is in a somewhat upscale building behind the Mall at St. Matthews. The latrine is a fancy two-holer with very nice accoutrements (marble vanity, quarry tile, stunning).
Anyway, I always hold out for the handicapped stall because I like the extra space and the grab bar is handy in those instance where additional... leverage is necessary.
I'm sitting there one day and this guy comes in and takes the stool next to me. I hear the sound of ripping cellophane followed by the unmistakeable "chomp-crunch" of someone eating potato (potatoe for Dan Quayle fans) chips.
Eating potato chips whilst sitting on the crapper!!!! In all my twisted years it has never crossed my mind to combine those two activities.
Anyway, feeling that I may have been mistaken and wanting the give this chap the benefit of doubt, I waited till he left and then, after finishing my business and washing up, I looked in the trash can as I was leaving. There it was; an empty Lays potato chip bag. I was stunned.
Thought you would like to know that things back here in the states are humming along apace in our guilded hand basket to hell.
Wilhelm
Wilhelm,
Pithy comments like that are why I told you that you needed to start a blog way before I even thought of doing one myself.
Thanks for the comment about the pup - can you believe I talked Steven into letting me get one? In honor of that, here is a beer prayer for you:
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
(I will be drunk),
At home as I am in the tavern,
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage's,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the lager,
Forever and ever,
Amen
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