Schmaltz

I did not take the apartment in Wiesbaden. Believe me, I’m as upset about it as you are. Well maybe not. When it came down to it, it was just too much money for me to lay out for an apartment. The monthly fees are substantial, but they are reimbursed by the Government. What is not reimbursed is the security deposit, and the realtor fees are only partially reimbursed. Extremely partially.

So after I checked out of the hotel Tuesday morning, I went by the bank to get a cashiers check. The bank was closed (well, because it wasn’t 9:30 yet), and it actually ended up being good for me that it was. I didn’t have a good feeling about the whole deal, and after really looking at the financial windfall that was about to occur (kind of like a trailer in a tornado type of windfall), I called it off. Needless to say Frau Huber was not, howyousay … pleased. Oh well.

The place was just not for me. I was the square peg, it was the round hole. It was a brand new place, and I could just see the landlord getting all bent out of shape over scratches in the floor, &c. I don’t want to live in a museum, worrying about every move I made. I also didn’t like the idea of having all of them sheckles hanging out there, because when it comes time to move I’m not going to be able to appear in court just to get my security deposit back (much like I had to do last time I moved). And trust me we are talking about a rather substantial number of sheckles.

So it’s back to square one. I checked back into the same hotel room Tuesday afternoon. It was much like the English fag at the desk said, “it’s almost like you never left Sir, Hmmm?”

Today is Friday and I am looking at 7 apartments this weekend. One is with Frau Huber, one is the neighbor of a guy I work with, and five are from the housing office. I saw one from the housing office tonight. It was in Hattenheim, was big, had plenty of parking, a big backyard, was right across the street from a vineyard, and during the winter you can probably see the Rhein. You can’t see it now because of the leaves on the trees. The landlord seems like a really nice woman, and is related to some winemakers from the area. The only problem is that the main road coming through the area is pretty close and you can definitely hear the road from the backyard. The other “only problem” is that the train tracks are close too. “How often does the train come by?” you ask. Well, in the immortal words of Ellwood Blues, “So often you won’t even notice it.”

However, they are electric trains and as the Germans weld the tracks segments together, they are quieter than most American trains. i.e. you don’t get that “Ka-Thump, Ka-Thump, Ka-Thump” of the train when it goes over track sections. I think I actually like it. It is definitely less noisy than the jets flying over everyday at Virginia Beach. And it is probably less noisy than my place in Germantown (Louisville), when the UPS jets were coming in (one after another, after another, after…). It is most likely quieter than the apartment above the Bus Stop at 6th & St. Catherine in Louisville too. The place is about a 5 minute walk from the edge of downtown Hattenheim. Of course it’ll take about 10 minutes after that to walk to the other side of Hattenheim. But there are plenty of restaurants and wineries around to make it a good walk. The landlord invited me to come with her and her family to her cousin's Weingut on Sunday. I guess they go there on Sundays and eat, and drink some wine. Sounds good to me!

A couple of the other places are in Wiesbaden, and two are north of it. Maybe I’ll just number the places at random and use a Ouija board to pick one.

In other news, I ate at a small restaurant in town last weekend. I just had a couple of small sausages with some kraut and bread. This place, like some others, offers schmaltz instead of butter to spread on your bread. Schmaltz is basically rendered fat. I’ve used chicken schmaltz to fry livers in, but have never thought of spreading it on bread. However, being in Germany means that schmaltz is from schwein. In other words it is lard. And just in case you didn’t feel like you were getting the true essence of the pig, the schmaltz had some little pieces of cracklin’ in it. I know that it was salted, and believe that it was seasoned with some other spices. It was quite good.

Tonight I was walking in downtown Wiesbaden tonight and I turned a corner and recognized a familiar tune being played. I followed the music, and found that sure enough it was a full orchestra performing the Star Wars theme. I think they were actually playing the whole score, but I only stuck around for three songs. It was pretty funny watching “The Maestro” at work.

As an aside, when was the last time you saw an ugly girl with a violin? Is it just me, or do most women violin players seem hot? Perhaps that was why the Iranian foreign minister walked out of the dinner with Condoleeza. Maybe with her revealing apparel, he was afraid of getting a little “Norwegian Wood”.