Travels (Part I)

3/14/2007
Our Emirates Air flight to Dubai left Frankfurt on Wednesday afternoon. We were sitting in the terminal when the plane arrived from its last stop. After the passengers had disembarked, out came a parade of amazing looking women dressed in tan suites and red hats with white scarves hanging off the side. Each one was prettier than the last. Then, before the boarding call for our flight, a parade of different but equally gorgeous women (in tan suites and red hats with scarves) walked past us and down the jet way to the plane. I thought this was a good sign.



Inside the plane the stewardess uniform was a little more relaxed, no hats, sweaters, &c. Right after takeoff they handed us a printed dinner menu. This seemed a little overboard to me, because the only choice we had was between chicken and lamb. Still, they had beer (of which I gladly partook) and wine (of which I also partook, with dinner). This would be the last alcohol to cross my lips for at least 8 days.

The seats on the plane were pretty comfortable for economy class. I just wish that Dr. Lauri would pay her taxes on time so I could at least fly business class. The movies on these planes are viewed via video screens built into the back of each seat. This is a good system, in theory, because it allows each person to watch whatever they choose from a list of available shows. It is not so good if you are sitting behind a spastic woman who lurches her head more than Angus Young. I caught a little bit of “Walk the Line” with Arabic subtitles, but I didn’t get any sleep on the flight. I wonder what the interpretation would be for, “I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die”.

After we landed in Dubai, we had a 10-15 minute bus ride from our plane to the terminal. This entire trip was spent passing new terminal construction. This place is already big, but it is going to be enormous. After the bus ride we were greeted by a Marhaba, who is a professional expeditor in a yellow jacket. He got us through Passport control pretty fast, and we were a pretty happy that we each spent the $21 to use him (though we didn’t really have a choice, and are being reimbursed for it anyway – thanks again Lauri). Ironically, after getting through passport control quickly, we had to wait a long time for our bags. As the rest of the people from our flight came to the luggage claim carousel, it suddenly, well actually gradually, became apparent that the $21 dollars didn’t seem like such a bargain. But once we got our bags and were led through an incredible maze of people, walkways, and driveways to reach a cab, it was clear that it probably was worth $21.

We finally arrived and managed to check into the hotel at about 0230 Dubai time. I finally got the lights in my room turned on, watched a little Al Jazeera, and zonked out. But not before noticing the spray nozzle attached to a hose at the side on the toilet. It made me feel like I was taking a dump in someone’s kitchen sink. Something I haven't done since that party before the 1995 Kentucky Derby.



3/15/2007
We needed to get back to the airport about 0930, so I got up at 0810 showered and went to breakfast. This hotel had the strangest breakfast buffet I’ve ever seen. They offered Asian Fried Rice and Noodles, Chicken Sausage, Beef Bacon, Foul Medames (which I’ve read about as Ful Medames or Fool Medames, they are Egyptian I think, and are basically baked fava beans), some smoked salmon, and scrambled eggs. You could also get eggs cooked to order. Notwithstanding the oddness of the menu, this was a first class joint.

We drove to the airport in a hotel van, and the drive can best be described as “forceful”. We cleared security without incident, went to the terminal and waited for the plane. We flew out of Dubai on a United Nations Humanitarian Air Service (UNHAS) plane. Surprisingly enough the plane was not full, and we had a stripped down, but tasty meal.

Once we landed in Kabul things changed a bit. We loaded into two Toyota Land Cruisers, and had to put on helmets and flack jackets. Before we left, the soldier driving and the one in the passenger seat cocked their 9mm sidearms to ensure that a round was in the chamber. The ride to the camp was a wild one. The trucks would go through blocking maneuvers at every intersection. When we approached an intersection, the forward car would drive wide into the path of opposing traffic and slow down enough to let the rear car pass. This was done a number of times and I don’t think we ever came to a complete stop.

Upon arrival we were given a tour of the camp (which lasted for the better part of 10 minutes). The camp is a strange mix of tents and buildings made from shipping container (CONEX) boxes. We visited supply and had to sign for a mish-mash of sheets, pillows, and a blanket. We located three empty bunks in two different tents. I was lucky enough to get a bottom bunk right away, Larry had to wait two days, and Jeff never got one. The bunk was surprisingly comfortable, and the bathrooms that were in a nearby building were also decent.



The bathrooms were private units, each one having a toilet, sink, and a shower. The toilets were somewhat strange in that the hole was at the front and the bowl was rather shallow and almost flat. I don’t know about you, but my ass is in the back. Luckily I had noticed this oddity before dropping a deuce and had performed a courtesy flush. If not for the flush, I may have reached back and got a handful of Hershey. Maybe if you dropped little rabbit turds, they would roll down into the water, but everything else will just sit there until the water from the flush pushes it away.



The dining facility (DFAC) was decent, and the food was pretty good. Although on the first day I had a carton of milk that was older than a carton of juice I also had. The milk was some kind of ultra-pasteurized carton and it hadn’t expired yet (but it was about nine months old).

3/16/2007
On Friday afternoons there is a bazaar at the camp across the road from ours. In order to cross the road to the other base, it is required that we don helmets and flack jackets. We then walk through a maze of walls made of concrete, rock, and Hesco bastions. The guards are mainly local nationals, and are all armed with AK-47s.

The bazaar is basically a big open air yard sale where the local people come in to sell stuff. Somebody tell Al Russo that I think I saw Anissa’s brother Hyatt. Lots of ornate junk is available there, and most of the vendors are trying to sell you the same stuff (scarves, carpets, necklaces, &c). Some of the antiques may be of actual value – but one would need to have more knowledge than I to ascertain it. The military police would not allow any photos in the bazaar or on the other base. We went on to the base and I got an “army haircut”.

We went back to our camp and watched a little bit of the NCAA tournament. I even tried a Bitburger non-alcoholic beer. It was horrid! Tasted like carbonated water with hops in it. I ended up pouring about half of it out.

to be continued...

(there are more pictures on the Flickr page, click on any of the pictures to go to it)