Wilhelm Redeemed!

I found this statue of Kaiser Wilhelm I in a park downtown a while ago, but it has taken me a while to get back and take a picture of it. I felt that I had no choice but to post these after experiencing the vitriolic wrath of our own Wilhelm after I posted pictures of “Fancy” Wilhelm. Well this Wilhelm, appears to be a true Manly Man, and is wearing a proper pair of pants to boot.



It was Kaiser Wilhelm II who gave us the immortal saying, “Give me a woman who truly loves beer, and I will conquer the world.” He also brought us a little thing that people at the time used to call, “The war to end all wars”. I’d like to think that title was an attempt at sarcasm, because in hindsight it certainly seems foolish that anyone would believe that. Well perhaps, Neville Chamberlain believed it.


As an aside I would like to see sideburns like that come back into style…

I'll leave you with this quote that has been attributed to an unknown German Monk. I wonder if it was scratched into the back of one of the pews at the monastery.

He who drinks beer sleeps well.
He who sleeps well cannot sin.
He who does not sin goes to heaven.
Amen.

Wurstsalat

Friday a guy from work (Paul) and I went to lunch at the German “cantina/cafeteria” near work. They have display plates of all of the food they are serving that day near the entrance. Much of the time the displays are fairly recognizable; however, sometimes they can trick you. The previous two days nothing has looked very tantalizing (on Thursday a couple of us just turned around and went down the street for Döners). This 2-day stretch came as a surprise to me, because it had generally been pretty good in the past. So on Friday we are looking at the display plates and I see some type of salad on the top shelf. It looks like some kind of washed out pasta salad or something. It did not have much color to it, just a bland, pale, off-tan color. I might have mentioned how it didn’t look appetizing. Then I saw the name, “Wurstsalat”. It may have been the very same instant that Paul asked me if I liked bologna. He told me that Wurstsalat is a traditional Bavarian meal. I knew that I had to try it.

When I got it to the table, I looked at it again. What had looked like washed out pasta was actually gleamingly unctuous, delicious strips of wurst (OK, it was bologna, but they don’t call it that here). The wurst was cut into strips approximately 1/8” X 1/8” X 2”. Into this delicious looking base went some peppers, olives, onions, herbs, and an oil & vinegar dressing. It also had some lighter colored mystery meat-like-substance, but I was not able to identify it. It was served cold, and was really quite good.

Here’s a picture I got off the internet. It came from a site that may actually be dedicated to Wurstsalat, but as it is in German, I can’t verify that. The picture looks quite close to the lunch I had Friday. Just take away the bread and tomato.

Worms (re-corrected)

OK let's try this again...

Just in case you looked at the blog today and thought, "wow, that entry made even less sense than usual", it was because a big portion of it was missing. It has since been corrected.

So without further ado, I present the Worms entry of Tony's Okra Haven in its entirety...

Sunday I decided to take a small trip. I was looking at a book about Germany and saw that the town of Worms (pronounced Vorms) was the one of the areas that makes Liebfraumilch wine. I read that “(the wine style goes) back the two single vineyard sites in Worms, situated next to the Church of Our Lady (Unsere Liebe Frau) known even today as the "Liebfrauenstift" and the "Liebfrauenstift Kirchenstück ". These are the high-quality wines, examples in the USA will usually be by producer Valckenberg, who own most of the vineyard.” I don’t know if it’s supposed to be good, but I’ve liked the ones that I’ve tried. I do know that when I mentioned the style to Emily at the Wine Market in Louisville, she kind of pushed her nose into the air and said (somewhat emphatically, “you didn’t get it here.” Now, I’m not here to drink snooty wine, but I am willing to (just in case anyone decides that they want to come over and buy me a case drink some snooty wine).

I’ve also read that Worms is a neat little town, and being as how it’s not far from here (less than 40 km). I thought it would be a perfect Sunday afternoon trip. So I decided to check it out. I made it there in practically no time on the Autobahn. The Tacoma was cruising down the road at a respectable (or so I thought) 85-90 mph. The CD player was blarin’, the GPS was navigatin’, the cruise control was controllin’, and Audis and BMWs was passin’ me like I was standin’ still.

You need to look to the rear twice when you are on the Autobahn. The first time is just to see if there is a car there, and then you look away before you look back again. You need to do this get a feeling for how fast the car is coming. Let’s just say you’re cruising along at around 60 mph in the U.S. You look at the rear view mirror and see a car really coming up fast. Chances are that car is only going 50% faster than you are (that is roughly 90 mph for The Haven’s “computationally challenged” readers). Now consider that you are cruising along at about 75 mph on the Autobahn, and you look in your rear view and see a car. You look away and before you look back again, the car could be along side you. This guy could be going twice as fast as you are. Which is, as my buddy Dennis in Kentucky would call, “runnin’ like a scalded cat!”

Anyway, I made it to Worms and proceeded to check out the town &c. Being that this was a Sunday there were not many places open, but I did check out a few of the churches and such. The first was St. Peter’s Cathedral which, like most things around here see to be, was undergoing rehabilitations. However, being as it was originally built in the 12 century, I’m willing to cut it some slack. It is really beautiful. The interior is incredibly ornate in some places, and very stark and simple in others.

I also got a couple of pictures of St. Paul’s Church which used to be, and maybe still is, a Monastery.



Then it was on to see some remnants of the city wall. Apparently the city had recorded maps of it’s walls in the 10th century. A brochure I picked up says that Worms is the oldest town in Germany. Maybe I need to come back and pay more attention next time.



I walked down along the Rhein for a bit. When I got to the end of the path I looked over to my left and saw the Liebfrauenkirche itself.



I saw in another brochure that the church is supposed to have some great stained glass windows. I also saw on another website that there is a church just across the river from Wiesbaden that has windows by Marc Chagall. And another church just down the road a piece that has an ossuary in the back. According to the website it contains the bones of 20,000 skeletons that are from the years 1400 to 1750.

I’ve got to see that!

Hey Jimmy, look what I found along the Rhein in Worms…

But you can't push Willy 'round, Willy won't go...

I’ve decided to take the apartment in Wiesbaden. I realize that you are just wishing that I’d move in somewhere and quit rambling on about it. Well you can just piss off, because I’m going to ramble on some more today. I decided Friday, and am going to try to get an appointment with the housing office to review the lease this week. With any luck I’ll be able to move in this sometime around this coming weekend. This will put me in the apartment just in time for the one hundred and thirty third running of the Kentucky Derby. If I calculate correctly (and let’s face it, it’s not that tough of a calculation) the race should go off at around midnight here.

Can you think of a better way for me to get to know my neighbors? And possibly some members of the Wiesbaden police force?

Actually, I think there will only be one other person in the building. They are just starting to rent it, and my building was the first one done. The one on the side is almost done, and the one in the back will be ready in about 2 months. There are 11 units in the three buildings. My building has four. It’s really very nice, a whole lot nicer than I’m used to. In fact I was thinking yesterday that it’s probably too nice for me.

Oh well, too late … there goes the neighborhood.

I met with Frau Huber for lunch Saturday to give her my information for the lease. We ate at a little place in town that I had passed before, but I had never stopped in. I had the Frischer Spargel (fresh white asparagus) w/Schnitzel. I can now verify that the white asparagus does make your pee stink just as much as the green stuff does.

This lunch meeting put a stop to any plans to go somewhere this weekend. At least anywhere far. I wanted to take a train trip to Munich or Trier or someplace. I did go to the open-air market, and did a couple of laps around Wiesbaden before heading to the Paulaner for dinner (had the spaetzle again, and lord was it good).

During my walking around I took a picture of a statue that I had seen before. The title on the base says “Wilhelm I”. Since a favorite commenter to The Haven calls himself Wilhelm, I thought I’d get a picture of it. I think you’ll agree that Wilhelm I (or his statue at least) does strike quite a dashing figure.



But there was something that bothered me about it. Upon further inspection, it seems like Wilhelm was a bit of a “Fancy Boy”. Can I express my disappointment here?



I mean just look at that puffy skirt, or whatever it is. And are those tights? I took the second picture from a different angle to see if Willy’s “junk” was hanging out.

That doesn’t make me gay ... does it?



Extra points to the first to write in with the song and the band referred to

House in Hattenheim - *SOLD*

The guy with the house in Hattenheim sold the place. Tomorrow evening I go with Frau Huber to meet the landlord of the Penthouse. I'm going to try to get my truck into the parking garage. If it fits, I think I'll be living in Wiesbaden. If not, it looks like I'll be the dirty old man who lives downstairs from Big Boobs McGee.

It seems like this truck is running my life right now. And today I found out that my household goods got here 2 weeks ago. I had to call them. Of course as it seems to be the M.O. around here, the transporation office had no idea how to contact me. I must have filled out 20 forms with my new address on it before the movers left with my stuff. I guess this is all a part of the government's "Reduction of Paperwork Act".

Purchases and First Impressions

So after writing glowingly about the apartments in Hattenheim, and Agnes’ rack, another monkey wrench was thrown into my plans. Frau Huber showed me a place in Wiesbaden that was great. It’s relatively close to downtown, and is real close to the other apartment I looked at in Wiesbaden. It comprises the top two floors of a brand new building, and there is underground parking in the rear. It is also right across the street from, and has a pretty good view of the woman sunbathing in, a park. It has four balconies (two face the park), and floor to ceiling windows/sliding doors that take up the entire front and rear of the apartment. All of the windows have Venetian blinds built in between the panes of glass that are operated electrically. It’s got a good sized kitchen on the park side, two bedrooms upstairs, and a full bath on each floor. It is really pretty great. I’m going back to meet the landlord on Thursday. My only concern is that there are hardly any places in this area that have air conditioning, and it will be hot on the fourth floor of the building. If it gets too hot in Hattenheim, I could always crash in the basement

I’m still sort of leaning toward the house in Hattenheim, but this place definitely comes in a close second. Sorry Agnes. I should find out tomorrow if I can get the place in Hattenheim. If not, my decision is made. If it is offered to me…well…I might just have to go with Hattenheim. It would be the difference between a half hour commute and a 10 minute commute, but it might be worth it.

On a different note I picked up a couple of interesting items at the store this weekend. I bought a case of Paulaner Original Munchner Hell. It is a very good beer and comes in a sporty carrier.



But I didn’t know how sporty until I lifted up the side bars and look what happens…



It’s like magic I tell ya! Instead of looking like a complete klutz (and lush) lugging a case on my shoulder up the elevator, I can now gracefully stroll past the desk and up the stairs. Will wonders never cease?

Another great item I picked up was “Party Balls”. A jar of very small (ball shaped) sausages.



I just had to buy them when I saw them. And although I haven’t tried them yet, I’m sure they are great. They may even cause a spontaneous party to break out just by opening them. I think you'll have to agree, they do look somewhat “party-like” or at the very least, festive.

And what would Party Balls be without…



They have a Mini version; however, I thought I might impress the cute cashier by purchasing the Super size.







...it didn’t seem to work though…

Kloster Eberbach and Hoherodskopf

I looked at two more apartments this Saturday in Hattenheim which is a little town just down river from Eltville. Nice views from each place, and they are only about 200 meters from one another. The first one was an apartment and I would have the ground floor and the basement. Above me would be Agnes (with her enormous rack), and in the Penthouse is Peter the owner of the building. He’s a pilot with Lufthansa. Peter’s view from his back balcony is fantastic; mine would simply be nice because I’m much lower. There is a vineyard literally right outside of the back yard, and a view of (the remains of) a castle, and the Rhein River.

The other place I looked at was a house that is closer to the Rhein, but also closer to the road and the train tracks. Roughly the same view, but a quite a bit better because it has a 2nd floor balcony.

I should find out around the middle of the week if I can get the house or not (he’s got others looking at it as well). If I can’t get the house, I’ll take the apartment. Agnes cuts the grass and does the gardening, so there will be plenty of chances to catch her bending over from where I’ll be situated. She also seemed pretty pleased with the opportunity to have someone who likes to cook living in the building. I think she also had eyes on using my pickup truck.

I didn’t have an appointment to look at these places until 1500 (that’s 3:00 PM for you civilians and Americans). Since my appointments were later on in the day, I came out to Hattenheim early and drove around and took a walk for a bit in the vineyards. Hattenheim is a very small town and the streets there are very tight. Being that I have a pickup truck it was important to me to find an easy way into the apartments. I was driving through the constricted streets of this town, and people were diving into doorways to get out of the way. I felt like I might need to fold in my side mirrors to keep from scraping the windows on the houses. I managed to work out a way to get to the apartments without having to go through town, so I drove over and parked near the apartments. I was still about 20 minutes early, so I went for a little walk.

There is a wine restaurant just a ways down the street from the house I was going to look at, but it was closed. I noticed another wine place that a gentleman was walking out of. I walked over and he let me inside. As it turned out this was not a wine restaurant or even a bar, but was a retailer (maybe wholesaler) for the winery. I sat down in a chair and he asked me what kind of wine I wanted. I said that I wanted a “halb-trocken” or a semi-dry. He let me try about three of them before I had to leave. They were all good and I felt obliged to buy a couple of bottles. So I purchased 2 bottles (one was a 1.0 liter and the other a 0.75 liter bottle) for about $13. “Oh, I’ll be back” I said as I was leaving.

One of the guys I work with came out to look at the apartments with me. He speaks German pretty well, and could ask the questions that I couldn’t. His wife is also German, and she came along too. After we checked out the places we were planning to go up to Kloster Eberbach, which is an old monastery that has since turned into a hotel/restaurant/winery/meeting place/etc.

As we were leaving the apartments, I told Jeff which way to go to get to the Kloster. I was following him and we missed the turn. We reached a dead end, so we turned around. I told Jeff where he missed the turn, and we started back, only to miss it again. I flashed my high beams at him and pulled up along side him. He said that a sign said that it was a dead end. Being as how I do not know German and he does, I continued to follow him. And I followed him through the very narrow streets of Hattenheim that I was trying to avoid. It was tight, but the Tacoma and I managed to come through unscathed.

I think Kloster Eberbach was originally a Cloister (Kloster) of nuns, which became a monastery later on. The monks used to make wine there, but I think the whole deal has been taken over by the State now. They do still make a Kloster Eberbach wine, but I don’t think it’s made on premises. I posted a picture of one of there wines earlier. They also have there own beer; however, I’m not sure if they brew it themselves or if it is contract-brewed for them. It was pretty good though. I had a Helles, which is a pale lager bier. It was called Kloster Hell, which I thought was pretty funny.

We decided to grab a bite to eat. I saw that they had the Jellied Suckling Pig on the menu. How could I not order this? So I did. The jellied pig was basically little bits of meat that were cooked, then cooled and suspended in gelatin. It was served in ½ cm slices with an herb cream sauce, and some fried potatoes. It was all pretty good.

Sunday I went out with Jeff and his wife to visit a friend of hers northeast of Frankfurt. The plan was to have lunch and then do a little hike on a trail in the woods a couple of miles away. We stopped at a small bier garten for lunch. I had Spargel with Hollandaise sauce and pork schnitzel. Spargel is the German name for asparagus, only they don’t let the asparagus get green. I think that they do this either digging it up before it breaks the surface, or by constantly covering it and then digging it out. It basically prevents the photosynthesis from turning the plant green. If you’ve never had white asparagus, it has a much more subtle flavor and doesn’t get as woody as green asparagus does (if you don’t pick it soon enough). Spargel season is big around here, in fact it gets top billing on the menus. Instead of Schnitzle with asparagus, you get asparagus with sauce, and some schnitzle. I didn’t eat enough of the spargel to know if it makes your pee stink as much as normal asparagus; however, it is in season now so there will be plenty of opportunities. I may just have to take one for the team and experiment with it.

So we went out for a hike on this trail in an area called Hoherodskopf. A hiking club from the area had built this big tower called the Bismarckturm years ago on the highest point in the area.



The idea is that you have a 360-degree view from the top. We went up and I took some pictures, but it was a little hazy in the valleys, so they don’t show up very well.



Near the bottom of the monument there is a small sign that tells of Saint Bonifatius (Boniface). Apparently he used to baptize the heathens very near to there, and he is credited with bringing Christianity to Germany.





After the hike we went back to Jeff’s wife’s friend’s house and had coffee and gooseberry pie. The view from her place is just amazing. Apparently some German Prince used to own all the land around there. It is very rural and beautiful.

But then it became Monday and I had to go back to work…

Slacker

OK, I’ve been a little bit of a slacker when it comes to updating this thing of late. But I don’t see any of you doing anything to keep me up to date with what’s going on back home. It’s pretty easy to start one of these things, and it’s free don’t you know. So anytime one of you feels like jumping in, just let me know…

Truth be told, I haven’t really had much to write about recently or the time to do it. I really need to get my own place here; going out to eat every night really cuts into my quality time at the computer. Since I need to spend time keeping up with the news, Cardinal sports, Derby prep races, and surfing for porn, well it appears something has to give. Like it or not, you take a back seat to most if not all of the above. Well not you Mom, but everyone else does.

I went to a military hospital for 2 days this week. We were doing a little planning charrette for a new addition to the hospital. While we were walking through the existing hospital there were between 5 and 8 soldiers on gurneys who had just been “delivered” from ”down range”. I didn’t see anything garish or really horrible, but it definitely gives you a more personal perspective. A couple of us talked about it later on, and we each felt like we were intruding upon something. Perhaps some sacred. It was a very uncomfortable feeling. I didn’t want to be caught staring at someone and as a result didn’t really look at anyone. Maybe that was even more wrong. Many of the wounded soldiers on the gurneys were unconscious (or appeared so). They were probably either sedated or just didn’t want to see anyone else staring. The project we are working on will directly affect these guys, but in a small way, if it is ever built.

I happen to support this war, but this makes it a little more real to me. I’m sure it is not any more real or less horrible than any past “good” or “just” war. But it is more real to me, and I just got an extremely small taste of it.

To sit here and listen to Wolf Blitzer prattle on about the political outfall from the latest attack “down range”, and which candidate will make the most out of this or get us out of this war the quickest, all the while not mentioning what will happen when we are gone, really just chaps my ass. Never mind that he reported from the Pentagon while Bernard Shaw was under a desk with soiled shorts in Baghdad during the first war.

P.S. Imus is an ass and always has been, and Sharpton is a hypocritical ass and always has been. This is what those two idiots remind me of…



... and no I do not know which is which.

Wal-Mart

Wal-Mart is not doing too well in Germany. In fact they just closed one here recently. So in a show of solidarity, I went to a Wal-Mart this weekend. After all, these are my people.

I wanted to see how Wal-Mart in Germany is different than a Wal-Mart in the States. They still have the greeters, an they sell basically the same stuff, only different brands. They sell all kinds of liquor, wine, and beer, but I still couldn’t find any Old Forester. I may have to switch brands.

They’ve got this cool escalator too. It is a moving ramp, and you can take your cart on it. I was watching people ride this and they weren’t even holding on to their carts. I thought that there must be some type of raised lip on the belt that held the carts in place. But as I got close to it I didn’t see any. The treads are just like the metal treads that are on standard stair escalators, only they don’t rise up to form individual steps. It is a moving ramp. When I angled my cart onto the escalator something grabbed the wheels and held them in place. Either the wheels have magnets in them or the whole escalator is magnetized.

To test the magnetized tread hypothesis, I pushed some kid with braces down on his face. It was purely for scientific purposes, and I took no pleasure in the act. It would have been pretty funny if his face was stuck to the escalator though. Can’t you imagine the look of terror he would have as he approached the point where the escalator ends? Every childhood fear he ever had about getting sucked into the crack would have come back to him in an instant. As would the vision of the Tom and Jerry episode where Tom gets stuck in the escalator and just keeps going round as Jerry cranks up the speed. He was able to get up though and, luckily for me, he thought that someone else had pushed him. So I avoided another international incident.

I was in the food section (did I mention that this was a Wal-Mart Supercenter? well I should have) looking for coffee. God, I hate hotel coffee (or at least this hotel’s coffee). After locating some, I was checking out other goodies and assorted things. I love to look for odd things in supermarkets. I used to love to walk around the Valu-Market in the south end of Louisville just looking at the different ethnic foods. I also love Asian groceries for the same reason. I like to try and figure out what the stuff is (most of it has no English), and end up buying and using some of it. Since I’m the different one here, everything is foreign to me, and each one is a potential adventure just waiting to happen. However since I don’t have a kitchen here, I need to basically stick to precooked and/or canned items.

The canned meat aisle at the Wal-Mart Supercenter did not disappoint. Now the canned meat sections of American supermarkets are basically Spam, canned ham, tuna, and maybe if you’re in one of the higher end stores you’ll get some potted meat food and Vienna sausages. In Germany the canned meat aisle is a big larger. I counted no less than 8 different kinds of sausages/wieners that were available in cans and jars. Plus there were various Pates, cans of mystery meats, and jars with various wild animal parts in them. I was truly enamored. I only bought a few things though, including two cans of Pate one is Goose Pate and the other is Venison Pate (both are mostly pork though), and a jar of Deutschlanders. The Deutschlanders are 8” wieners, and come six to a jar. Like pushing the kid on the escalator, these purchases were made strictly for scientific purposes.

I also went to the IKEA store here. The place is huge! It is also a maze and very difficult to find your way out of. Once I figured out that I really wasn’t interested in most stuff here (~10 minutes in), I started looking for a way out. The store has mirrors all over the place. If you’re looking at something while you walk past it, you’ll suddenly see someone coming towards you in your peripheral vision. When you stop, you discover that it is a reflection of someone walking in another direction, or sometimes you discover that it is your own reflection. So I kept wondering around until I finally saw the exit. But I couldn’t get to it from where I was, so I had to go around a wall, through some glass doors, and down a stairway before getting close to the exit. As I neared the exit I noticed the food aisles. Apparently Scandinavian furniture is just not right without something to nosh on. So I bought some healthy looking, yet somehow crappy crackers. I think they were from Finland. I also bought a tube of fish roe paste, just because it looked interesting and the little Aryan kid on the tube had a big smile on his face. How could it be bad?

Sunday I was out walking around Wiesbaden, basically just walking around and checking stuff out. I had a book so I’d stop to have a beer here, read a little bit, stop to have a glass of wine there, read a little more. I could have gone on like this for days. I was listening to the Hoodoo Gurus on my MP3 player, it was a beautiful day, and all was right with the world.

After crossing a road coming out of the park a gentleman stops me to ask a question. I take my ear-buds out and he’s rambling along (in German) and holding up some magazine. I said, “Sprechen nicht Deutsch”. And he started digging into his bag for an English version, but he didn’t have one. So he held up the German version and opened to a page and the only word that I caught was “…deluge…” He held up the magazine and I said, “ya, Moses.” He nodded, and looked at me rather earnestly. I shook my head and put my ear-buds back in and walked away.

Nothing will ruin a nice Easter walk like a Jehova’s Witness!

The Week in Food

Things have been pretty busy at work since we got back from Afghanistan. We have three projects going on there now. The “client” has decided that they would “like to have” the next one ten days earlier than the previous deadline. So a 40 day project has been shortened by 10 days. This is not our only project to get out during this time. The next 4-6 weeks should be fun. SNAFU!

Not looking for sympathy just using it as an excuse for not updating this more regularly.

I looked at a couple of more apartments last weekend and one last night. The ones last weekend didn’t really do anything for me. One was a nice townhouse that was a lot bigger than what I need, but it was in a pretty nondescript (uninteresting) outlying small town. The one that I saw last night was nice. It was just at the edge of Wiesbaden, and it had a nice little park right across the road. It is a contender, but it won’t be available until the 1st of June.

I’ve heard that there is a very real possibility of lasting psychological trauma from being in a hotel for too long. That would be too long. I will look at some more places in Wiesbaden, although the parking situation can be very difficult in town. I’ve got an Immobilien (realtor) on the case for me. The housing office will only provide you with three apartments at a time. Since most people need to be at work during the hours that the office is open, they have proven to be of little use. The Immobilien fee can actually be pretty high, but it is negotiable and you can get reimbursed for most of it.

The Immobilien is a woman named Frau Huber. She is an older, divorced woman, who wears a lot of flashy jewelry and drives a little Mercedes two seater. And she drives it like a maniac. If not like a maniac then like a … well … a German. Seeing who can get to the next intersection the fastest seems to be the national sport. I was getting a bit nauseous, and thought I was coming down with a case of motion sickness although it may have just been her perfume.

She is a nice woman though, and with any luck we’ll find a place in the next couple of weeks. It really doesn’t make any difference until my stuff gets here anyway. We will start looking again after the Easter holidays.

This was a good food week though. Last Sunday I went back to Eltville and went for a walk in the vineyard. I wanted to check out the wine restaurant in the vineyard to see if I absolutely had to move there. The restaurant was not open yet (it may open this weekend though). So I walked up over the hill into the town of Rauenthal. I was looking for their Ostermarkt. They had signs out for it, but being unable to understand the signs and not knowing where you are have their drawbacks. So, I’m walking around Rauenthal and am getting a little thirsty. So I stop in this little wine restaurant (I’ll find out what these places are actually called and post it later) called the Gutssausschank (Good Life Bar or Good Living Bar) and ordered a 2005 Rauenthaller Steinmacher Riesling Qualitatswein, Trocken (dry). I don’t know if this was a good vintage or not, I just asked for a dry white and this is what I got. I was parched and it tasted good to me.

There was a guy working at the restaurant who just walked around filling peoples glasses. He had a plastic bottle carrier, sort of like the type of container we used to buy quarts of A-Treat Soda in (or Big Red, Ale-81, or whatever your local soda company was). The container had several liter bottles of wine in it, and he would just look at the ticket on your table and pour you another of the same. And this guy filled the glasses to the brim. None of this sloshing it around in the glass, sniffing the “bouquet”, and all that crap. This is a wine that is meant to be drunk.

I also ordered some Handkase mit Musik (Marinated Hand cheese). I had read about this in the past, and while the reports were not exactly glowing endorsements, I had to try it. It was actually pretty good, although after reading about it again I’m not sure it was a representative sample. Handkase is hand molded or formed cheese. So every piece is a little different, no big deal. The Musik part means marinated. It is marinated in sweetened vinegar with spices and slices of onions. It is brought to you in a bowl swimming in the marinadewith the onions on top. It is served with a couple of pieces of bread and butter. I’m not sure how you are supposed to eat it, but I buttered the bread and ate it separately. The cheese and onions were eaten together. It was tasty. The further readings mentioned that it was supposed to be a smelly cheese, but I didn’t find it that way at all. The cheese forms a bit of a rind in the marinade, I just cut the cheese (ha ha) and ate it. I either did it right or they are still talking about the stupid American who ate the Musik. I wonder if they are calling it “The Day the Musik Died”… yeah, probably not.

I visited the Paulaner restaurant one night this week. Paulaner is a brewery in Munich that is renowned for their Salvator Dopplebock. It really is quite wonderful, and I hope that they have it all year round. Bocks are traditionally brought out in the spring. The monks used to drink them during the Lenten season. They developed the dopplebock (double bock) to be a sort of “liquid bread” because sometimes during Lent they would fast from all solid food. In any case, I was in no mood for fasting. I had the Jagerbraten with mushroom gravy and Spatzle . The Jagerbraten was slices of a roast pork loin, but the spatzle was the real star of this show. Little hand made irregular shaped pastas that were so light and perfect that a couple of more helpings in a plastic bag would have made a great pillow.

I also went to a couple of Metzgerei one night this week and picked up a couple of cured meat products. I bought some pork cold cuts from an Italian place. The woman told me that it was called porcetta in Italian. It was basically the loin and side of the pig cured and rolled into a cylinder. Kind of like pancetta, but the cure was not as strong, and it was a bit larger due to the fact that the loin was included as well as the side meat. It was very good and I made several sandwiches out of it. I also bought some Iberico ham which is a Spanish ham similar, but superior, to proscuitto. It is eaten uncooked and sliced very thin. I also bought some blutwurst and leberwurst (liverwurst). The leberwurst had the smoothest texture of any I’ve ever had, and the blutwurst was bought to gross out Greg (and it did), but it was very good also.

I also went back to the Uhrturm (Clock tower) and had some Speissbraten with fried potatoes. The Speisbraten was basically a piece of roast pork cut about 1-inch thick and covered with onions and gravy. It sounds simple but it was wonderful.

It’s almost Easter, and the Germans take this Easter stuff seriously. The schools are all closed for a two week spring/Easter break, and everything was closed on Friday and will be closed on Monday as well. Most things are closed on Sunday anyway, so I guess they’ll just throw in Saturday and really try to mess up my life. Luckily I purchased a case of Paulaner Dunkel Hefe-Wiessbier yesterday after work when I went to the grocery. So with these wise words I will bid you good night and a Happy Easter.

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to prosper."
Benjamin Franklin

Judgement Day

I’m not sure what should make me sadder.

Almost seventy five percent of you didn’t think I was a good enough writer to make such a far fetched story believable.

The other half didn’t seem to hesitate for a moment believing that I was capable of such tomfoolery. Am I really of such shaky character that it is completely believable that I was kicked out of a whole damn country?

Let it be noted that I am particularly distressed at you Wilhelm. I realize that your head was probably full of thoughts of Billy Donovan taking the helm of your beloved Wildcats. So much so that I can almost forgive it … almost.

Yes, it was just an April Fools joke. And to be sure that I paid the price for it, my sister (the one with the Masters Degree) called me several times in my room at 12:30 AM to verify that it was a joke.

So for those who believed me, there will be NO EASTER this year…



And for those who didn’t, it’s JUDGEMENT DAY…

Glass Half Full

Sorry that I've been out of touch for a couple of days but I was detained, quite literally. This is a sordid tale, but I'm going to shorten it to the basic elements because I don't have the energy right now to flesh it out. It goes something like this...

I got my truck on Wednesday of last week. Thursday night, a couple of the guys I work with, and I go out on the town to celebrate. After hitting a couple of (really good) bars (and when I say hit, I mean hit them HARD), we manage to stumble back to the hotel. Once back at the hotel, Larry and I decide to get some Döner Kebabs. We decide it would be quicker if I drove to the Kebab place, Larry would run into the shop while I stayed in the truck. My staying with the truck would avoid us having to pay any parking fees, so I would just double park or drive around until he got the Kebabs and then we would head back. Easy right? Well this is where the plan goes slightly awry.

The first place is closed already (did I mention that it was 1:30 AM? Well I should have). So Larry knows of a place that is open late, but it's clear on the other side of Wiesbaden. Much like Harold and Kumar, we decide it's Döners or nothing. So I drive across town, and after following Larry's directions for approximately 45 minutes too long (he has been here once before, and was drunk then too), we miraculously find the place. It is almost 2:30 in the AM now and this place is packed. Larry heads into the store and I drive around the block to look for a parking space.

Here is where a little thing called bilingualism would have helped. I try to drive around the block, but the streets are not laid out in a standard pattern here. Half of them are one way. When I want to go left, the street only goes to the right. Oh, and the street meanders about quite a bit. I'm just trying to get to the Kebab place and am looking at street signs, buildings, cars on the street ... anything that will help me to figure out where the hell I am. That was when I hit the other car.

He was pulling out of a side street, and I guess I neglected to observe the (car-on-the-right-side-has-the-right-of-way) rule. He has (had) a Smart Car. I don't know if you've seen one of these, but they are about the size of a small dog.



I got out of my (larger) truck and went over to see if he was OK. He was physically fine, but he was pissed, and yelling at me in German. Now I don't really understand most of this language, so I said nothing. We were in a residential neighborhood and lights were coming on all over the place. Of course my silence only pissed him off more. Now he wasn't a very big guy, so all the while he was yelling and waving his arms I was thinking to myself "that car doesn't seem so Smart right now, does it?" Maybe I chuckled a bit, I don't remember that part. What I do remember is that he got up in my face yelling at me (and as a result spitting on me). So I popped him. He went down like a sack of potatoes (lucky shot). He got right back up, I think I actually surprised him more than I hurt him, but several of he neighbors saw it and came out of there houses, and I heard the sirens of the oncoming Polizei.

Needless to say, being an American (and a drunk American to boot) didn't sit too well with these folks. And since it happened far from any US Installation the best that I could hope for from the MPs was a little thing called "double jeopardy". Well that's my term for it, they call it the Status of Forces Agreement (SOFA). All this means that once I settled up with the Polizei and other German Authorities, I needed to settle up with the MPs and a JAG attorney. And trust me, she was not as hot as the one on that TV show.

So the Glass Half Full part, is that I'll be home for Christmas this year. The Glass Half Empty part is that I will not be coming back to Germany (ever). And while we are at it, we might as well call it Glass 3/4 Empty because I have to pay to ship my stuff back to the States (and it hasn't even arrived yet). Oh yeah, and I won't have a job to pay for said shipment when I do return. On the bright side, I don’t need to worry about paying for them to ship my truck, apparently the German judge liked it. In any case they are keeping it for evidence in case I decide to appeal or default on the judgment against me.

… good times ...